Deep inside, Drew knew this wasn’t the right thing to do. He’d know that he’d feel racked with guilt if he did let himself do this tomorrow, but what was the use anymore? He missed Daryl terribly but there was nothing he could do about it now. They were already on their break and it would make Drew look foolish if he went back to him after only one week. He tried to make it seem like he was doing okay without Daryl, but he could feel himself cracking. Still, Drew was surprised that Tommy was as down for this as ever. It would be weird since him and Tommy had only been friends, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He felt weak, lonely and sad, more than anything. Was he really sure he wanted to do this?
“I—I…” Drew stammered for a moment, sighing. “It wouldn’t be for the right reasons though.” He admitted, backing away slightly. “It’s just that he’s having fun with like, five strippers at his house doing god knows what and I almost want to make him feel as bad as he’s making me feel. Does that make me a horrible person?” Probably, Drew begrudgingly thought to himself, sighing once again as well.
Drew looked really conflicted with what he’d proposed to Tommy, and the chef couldn’t blame him. He was really hung up about his status with Daryl, and he was obviously really vulnerable and down on himself. “Hey, it’s fine,” Tommy assured him, wanting to make the guy feel better. “It doesn’t make you a bad person for wanting to make him feel as bad as you… you’re just feeling really hurt about your situation right now. I understand the feeling, trust me,” he chuckled lowly, recalling all the times he’d been in the same position as Drew. “For the record, I don’t think you sound like much of a horrible person right now. I’m actually kind of flattered that you’d make a move on me, of all people… it’s probably better that you turned to somebody you actually know opposed to some stranger you don’t, right? That has to count for something.”
Drew felt like his entire wall that had been built up since separating from Daryl was slowly coming undone and the hot lump that was forming in his throat was getting bigger and bigger. Still, he refused to give into these feelings and cocked an eyebrow of his own in reply to Tommy’s skeptical question. He just needed this ache of loneliness and sad to go away, just for now. This probably wasn’t the way to do it, but Drew just didn’t care.
Licking his lips, he came closer to Tommy, still keeping that innocently coy smile of his intact, and put a warm hand on Tommy’s thigh. “Well, they do say actions speak louder than words, you know?” He chuckled before looking at Tommy with half-lidded. God, he wasn’t sure if acting like a total slut was going to make him feel better, but he was desperate for any kind of relief right now. “So…if you want me to, I could…show you?” He added, his hand creeping slower up Tommy’s thigh.
Tommy could figure out where things were going at that point, and to be totally honest, he wasn’t opposed to Drew’s advances in the least. It had been monthssince he’d gotten any kind of action, and he’d be dumb to reject what the guy was offering him. On one hand, he wasn’t sure if it was the best thing to do, since he saw Drew as a friend and he didn’t want to make things weird between them (same with Daryl), but on the other, the two guys were technically separated for the time being, and it wouldn’t really count as Drew cheating on the guy… so after some consideration, Tommy came to a decision. “You know what? You can go ahead and show me just how good with your lips you are, man. I think we could probably both use some of this, right? As long as really wanna do it, that is…”
“It’s really nice…” Drew said, taking the guitar from Tommy and stroking it. The wood was so smooth against his fingers and the paint really made it sparkle. He listened to the other male speak while admiring its beauty. It was really something else. “See the inside circle? Past the strings? It’s almost the same hue of blue as my eyes.” Drew noticed, smiling softly. As for Tommy’s next question, Drew laughed lightly, shaking his head. “Not even if I tried.” He smiled. “We’ll just say its not my forte.”
Almost a moment after Drew seen that Daryl had responded to his text, saying that he was having ‘immense fun’ with the strippers at his house, it made Drew frown and sigh deeply. Was this how Daryl felt every time he went out partying? It couldn’t be, because Drew wasn’t partying with anyone in particular. Chewing on his lip, he looked down at the ground, feeling a rather deep sadness rip through him. He looked back up at Tommy, determined not to feel bad for himself. “Although, I can’t play any instruments, I do know I’m very good with my lips.” He winked over, forcing a coy smile. Was he really going to do this right now? Anything to dull this ache, Drew supposed.
Tommy watched as Drew took a look at his guitar, obviously appreciating the instrument in his hands. “Yeah, definitely is the same hue,” Tommy smiled, looking at the boy’s eyes to agree with the comparison. “Yeah, well I can barely play that thing myself. But I guess I make out fine with it, at least. It took a real fuckin’ long time to get the hang of it, let me tell you,” he chuckled. The chef watched as Drew checked his phone; he looked a bit upset about something, but he didn’t think much of it. Maybe it was just the knowledge of his current status that made him look into it a bit much. In any event, Tommy listened as Drew stated that he was good with his lips, cocking his eyebrow a bit at the comment. “In what way…?” he asked, curious to see where he was going with it.
Drew gulped another drink of water down, nodding at Tommy. “I like it…I like it a lot.” He said honestly, admiring the way Tommy’s fingers curved around the neck of the guitar. “You should really write more, I think you have a beautiful voice.” Drew honestly commented, a shy smile gracing his lips. Coming a bit closer to Tommy on the couch, he smiled at the other male before bringing his hand up. He bit his lip while looking at the other male, his head slightly tilted. “You think, uh…you think I could touch it?The guitar, I mean.” Drew chuckled timidly, looking at Tommy for any kind of confirmation. His guitar was just so beautifully crafted, Drew couldn’t help but as that question. He figured it was a musician thing for people not to touch their instruments but he thought he’d ask anyway. No harm in it, right?
“Oh, wow, that’s really nice of you to say,” Tommy said, blushing a little at the compliment. It was probably the first time somebody had gone out of their way to praise his ability like that… not that he minded hearing it. “You wanna touch my guitar? Uh, sure, go ahead,” he said, handing it over to the other male. “I think I’ve had that thing for like ten years now. Used it to play for tips before I started actually looking for jobs,” he said, remembering fondly on his days as an unemployed troubadour. “You play any instruments?” he asked, leaning back on to the couch.
“Maybe…” Drew shrugged, feeling comforted by the shoulder pat that Tommy had so kindly given him. “Aw, c’mon. Lay it on me.” Drew said, looking on as Tommy began to play, letting his head fall into the palms of his hands. Completely mesmerized by Tommy’s voice, Drew couldn’t help but wonder how Tommy thought he was actually bad. He listened, simply bringing his full attention to the other, blinking softly at him. It wasn’t until a few moments after Drew realized that Tommy has taken his last strum that he was actually staring. He snapped out of it, chuckling softly to himself as he took another gulp of water from his bottle. “That’s…that’s really good…” Drew said, resealing the bottle as he returned his attention back to Tommy. “Is it, ahm, all you got so far?” He asked, scratching his neck.
Tommy continued playing the song, focusing his eyes on the guitar as he played it. He wasn’t even watching for the younger guy’s reaction to the song; he usually found himself getting lost in a song whenever performing in public, and Drew’s presence wasn’t an exception to that rule. Once he was done, he looked up at Drew and was surprised at the boy’s reaction. “Really, you think that was good? I’ll admit it’s one of the better things I’ve written, but I dunno if good is really the word for it,” he chuckled, scratching his head modestly at the compliment. “Um, yeah, all I got so far for it is the first verse and chorus right now. Just something that came into my head the other day, really.”
Drew gladly took the bottle of water from Tommy’s hand and smiled at him. “Thank you.” He said kindly, opening the bottle to take a long swig, some stray droplets rolling down his chin. Laughing lightly as he wiped the excess water away, he turned to Tommy once again. “Just partying, living my life like Daryl wanted me to. It’s a odd change, but I’m not doing too shabby.” He said, holding the cold bottle in his lap. He wasn’t about to admit that sometimes he missed Daryl and how he was doing, however. He was determined to be strong. “That’s really cool. I’m happy for you.” Drew said in reply to Tommy’s words about his job. Nodding towards the guitar, Drew gave a soft almost smirk. “So, what are you going to play me? You got me all curious and stuff…”
“Well, that’s good, I guess. Maybe you guys just need some time apart to think things through? I’ve definitely been in that position myself, but I’m not gonna get into things. Just know that things work themselves out in the end, yeah?” Tommy said with an encouraging smile, giving Drew a light pat on the shoulder. “Oh, right, almost forgot about that,” Tommy replied, with a chuckle. “So, I mean, I really should tell you to lower your expectations as much as possible, because what I got really ain’t that great,” he chuckled, getting the strap of the guitar around his neck and settling into position to play. “Alright, so this is a song I’m still working on at the moment, which basically means it’s shit that I still have to polish… but here it goes,” Tommy warned, beginning to play the instrument. “After school, walking home, fresh dirt under my fingernails and I can smell hot asphalt, cars screech to a halt to let me pass…”
“Hey!” Drew excitedly replied back, a huge smile on his face. It made Drew happy to be around such lively company and Tommy was definitely no exception. “Ah, I understand. It’s no worries, my friend.” Drew kindly spoke as he took a seat on Tommy’s couch. Pondering over Tommy’s question, he simply shrugged. “Some water would be nice, thank you.” He smiled over to the older male, who seemed to be as chipper as usual, despite being terribly busy. It was like a breathe of fresh air to hang out with someone other than his best friend Chris for once, no matter how much he loved his new housemate. He swung his legs to and fro on the couch as he waited for Tommy to come back into the room, giving a small sigh at the aroma in the room.
“One water, coming up…” Tommy announced back, retrieving a bottle from his fridge and presenting it to younger male. “So, what’s up with you? Well, besides the obvious, I mean. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. But if you do, I’m definitely all ears for you, man,” the chef said, wanting to sound as supportive to his friend as possible. “Not much has been going on for me, just working a lot. But it’s fine, I mean, at least I’m doing something that I love, so it doesn’t really feel like a job. Just when it gets overly busy.”